Sometimes these feelings go away by talking about it with a friend or your parent. People won’t always know to ask you about how you are feeling or won’t sense that something is wrong. Or sometimes they do ask and we say nothing is wrong, because we are afraid to tell them. You need to tell them. It takes a lot of strength to let others know how you are feeling, but you can make the difference for yourself. Try some of these tips.

Talk to someone
Sometimes it is more than you can bear to deal with alone and you need to tell someone. Call a friend. But you also might need to talk to an adult to get you help – talk to a parent (or someone else’s parent), older brother/sister, aunt/uncle, teacher, counselor, pastor, rabbi, mental health counselor, coach, neighbor or principal. If the first person doesn’t help, go talk to someone else. Ask a friend to come with you. If you don’t want to talk to someone in person, call a hotline where people talk to you anonymously and confidentially. Call 1800-273-TALK (8255) to talk to someone who won’t judge you and who will tell you about other resources to get help. Or make an appointment to talk to a mental health counselor or your own doctor. Frequently, just talking about your problems helps you to feel better. In most schools in D.C., there is a counselor you can talk to, such as a social worker, guidance counselor or school mental health counselor. Ask a teacher or someone in the office to help get you connected to this person. They will meet with you quickly, especially if you let them know you need to talk now.

Write in a journal
Even if no one but you is going to read it – write it all down. Sometimes it helps you to think about different ways to handle your problems and to blow off some steam. Write a letter to someone you are mad at, even if you never send it.

Exercise
Go for a walk, bike ride, skateboard, do something active – even if you usually don’t. It will get hormones going in your body that will also help you to feel better.

Do things you usually like
Sometimes you just need to take your mind off things. Listen to music, take a bath, play with your pet, watch a movie, play on the computer, read a book or a magazine, play sports or get out and go somewhere to be around other people. It can be hard to find the energy or desire to do these things when you are depressed, but it is important to try to stay as active and connected as you can.

Set goals
It’s hard to make a lot of plans when you are feeling down. But not accomplishing anything can make you feel worse, too. Set goals that you can accomplish just for the day or in the next couple of hours. When you are really down, don’t expect to get a lot done for school or for work or around the house. Tell people in your life – teachers, parents, boss - that you are going through a rough time and they might be able to give you a break or an extension for an assignment.

Take care of yourself
Eat right and get eight hours of sleep a night. Make sure to keep a regular routine – get up in the morning, even if you don’t want to or don’t have anything to do. Go to bed at a reasonable hour. Don’t use drugs or alcohol. They may make you think you feel better while you are using them, but the pain comes back (and usually stronger) when you stop. And they create other problems with your parents, friends, school, the police, etc.

Try relaxation techniques
Activities like yoga or meditation are often helpful in reducing anxiety.

Cry
Crying is a healthy and normal way to express your sadness or frustrations.
Go to websites where others share thoughts and feelings and see how they cope.

Remember, you have had moments, even if only briefly, when you did not feel this way. All feelings are temporary and even really painful ones do not last forever. Even if you do nothing, the unbearable pain will eventually fade. You can help yourself through these difficult times by creating a list of things to do to stop feeling so awful. Always wait before you do anything that you can’t take back.

What about going to a mental health professional?
When you talk about it with mental health professionals, they help you to talk about it a little bit at a time so that you won’t feel overwhelmed. They can also teach you better ways to cope or to make yourself feel better. These treatments are called cognitive-behavioral therapy and focus on how you can change what you think about things, how you act in situations, and new ways to make yourself feel better and get through difficult times. There are mental health professionals available in most schools and in the community. They are also available through your own health insurance provider.

Sometimes you have to try out several counselors before you find the right one for you. It might take a while for you to feel comfortable enough to really open up and talk. You should plan on seeing them at least several times. Sometimes parents and adults don’t know what to say. They might be angry but that is only because they are concerned about you.

You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) if you are feeling in crisis or having suicidal thoughts, or the Boys Town National Hotline (1-800-448-3000) — both of which are free, 24-hour help lines.

To find a mental health provider, check out the following:
D.C. Department of Mental Health Provider List
D.C. Department of Mental Health School Mental Health Program
D.C. Area College Counseling Centers

Sometimes talking about your feelings and learning new behaviors isn’t enough. When that happens, there are medications that can help you feel better. Not everyone who is depressed needs medication but for some people combining medication with talking to a therapist really helps them take back control over their moods and their lives. You should talk to your counselor or doctor about what is right for you. You are always in control of your own treatment and should ask questions if you don’t understand some of the treatments or suggestions.